Today was a day of learning.

Also a day of mourning.

This evening I sat with a friend who was in a youth group I led many moons ago. Thirteen months ago she found out that she was pregnant. Twenty weeks later she and her husband went for their checkup at the doctor only to find out that the little baby was not normal – they were told that they should consider an abortion.

They said no.

The baby was born; a part of her brain was missing. A lack of anatomy was filled up with immense love. The kind of love that has been to the ICU at the hospital for twenty weeks almost 24/7. Drenched in love, covered with hundreds – thousands – of petitions for healing.


On Sunday the nurse pulled them aside and told them to prepare for the worst. To switch of the machine that maintains her life.

They could not – how could they let this little one go?


God … where are you?

My friend’s worst fear is to make the call, to stop the machine that’s keeping their daughter alive. She is begging God to make the decision …

People in this situation usually ask “why me?”

My friend told me that she’s not asking that, she knows that following God doesn’t exempt her from pain, she is asking “why not me?”

I prayed with her, stunned.

Realizing that we need …