Lollie and I come from South Africa, a country ridden with crime : with that piece of background here’s some Wednesday satire:

Ferrari recruits in SA!

Modena, Italy: Ferrari’s F1 Team has fired its entire Pit Crew. The
announcement follows Ferrari’s decision to take advantage of South Africa’s
unemployment, and hire unemployed youths from Cape Town. The decision to hire
them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths in Cape
Town were able to remove a set of wheels from a car parked in the street in
less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari’s existing crew
takes more than 8 seconds with the right equipment. This was thought to be an
excellent yet bold move by Ferrari Management, and, as most races are won &
lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every other
team.However, Ferrari’s expectations were exceeded, as during the Crew’s
first practice session; not only were “da boyz from Woodstock” able to change
the tyres in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had resprayed the
car, filed off the chassis number and sold the vehicle over to the McLaren
Team.